I’ll try to say this with my best attempt to not sound like a hippy, but sometimes I feel in tune with the earth. Specifically, the seasons. Back when I lived in Trinidad, there were two seasons, rainy and dry. It was really nice, it never got cold. But if you’re lucky here in Oklahoma, you can experience all four seasons in one day.
Let me rephrase…I connect well with the weather, and Oklahoma has bipolar weather.
But seasons chance, from winter to spring, spring to summer, summer to autumn, and autumn to winter. It never really ends. The weird thing is that even though it never ends, it’s never really the same. Some summers are dry, some winters are warm, sometimes spring is short, and most of the time autumn sneaks in and begins to change the color of the leaves before you get a chance to notice. This is the nature I am in tune with. Even though I can look at a calender and see that the first day of summer is sometime in June I think, summer actually starts well before then. Maybe North Dakota’s summer starts in June, but mine starts in May, when heat sucks the air from the sky.
The more you live here in Oklahoma, the more you get to know the seasons, what to expect. I suppose we even have a fifth season, tornado season.
But I really don’t like talking about the weather.
The more I live, the more i’m realizing that my life is a lot like these seasons. That change is a constant thing for me, a cycle if you will, that may not go through four seasons in a calender year, but continues to revolve and move through my life. I look back on my life and can see the changing of friends, beliefs, locations, and feelings. I can hear a song or a band on the radio and think of someone who I forgot existed until that moment. I can catch a whiff of some strange smell and it will take me back to the school yard.
In the big picture, this is one life, but the more I step back the more I see it is broken into seasons. I don’t talk to my best friend from middle school or high school anymore. I don’t know when we started to lose touch. I don’t even really talk to my family much anymore, it seems we talk more business than love, and I suppose that’s all my fault too.
Friends drift. Bt the end of one season is not the end of the cycle, it continues on and the people I need the most in this season seem to be the people I have.
Seasons are a funny thing.
I’m in a season change right now, I’m attempting to go back to school, I have made a bunch of new friends, new job, new apartment, and I’m starting to find my place and get cozy. I guess you could say I’m trying to adjust to the temperature difference, figuring out if I need to break out a heavy coat for a winter season, or if it is just going to be a light jacket.
I never seem to time the changing of the leaves just right, it always seems like by the time I notice that it is no longer 100 degrees outside, all of the leaves are being blown into my house through the front door, dead. And autumn is my favorite season.
I love the seasons because the metaphors are all there, you don’t even have to try. You may say or think things are dying, but I don’t see it that way. If the grass dies every year, it is really more like how a seed must die in a sense in order to produce a stem. It gives up itself so change can come.
I don’t do a lot of heavy drinking, but I’d be lying if I told you I’ve never been hungover. In a weird way, I think being hungover is the most beautiful part about being drunk. There’s this moment where you get over the headaches and nausea, and you feel alive again. You feel human.
In the same way, the most beautiful part about the changing of the seasons is that even though your grass is dying, you know it will be green again. The snow will melt, but you know the icicles will hang from your home again. The leaves will turn red next fall. Even though the bird’s song may be silent, it doesn’t mean that the bird is dead…it’s just waiting. Just because you can’t feel the warmth of summer, doesn’t mean that it’s not on it’s way.
Moments in life are like moments we experience in the seasons. We don’t always recognize them until they hit us on the head. The first time we have to warm up our car and scrape the ice off of the windshield. The first time the air conditioner gets exchanged for windows down. The first raking of leaves. A new friend. An old friend slipping away. And so on.
Adjustments will be made, and the cycle will continue without fail. I pray that you don’t get left in the cold without a jacket.