Stuck On Repeat In The Belly Of A Whale
I remember when I was a young teenager, maybe even a preteen, and music was just starting to mean something to me. I will spare you the trivia of what the first CD I bought was, but I remember my first favorite song. Looking back, and listening to the song again, I really have no idea why I liked the song “Sex and Candy” by Marcy Playground so much. I think it was mostly because of how he sang the words “disco lemonade”.
I remember going to the local music store and buying a copy of the album, and listening to that song on constant repeat…and I mean constant. I didn’t even really listen to the rest off the album, I just listened to “Sex and Candy” over and over and over again.
Weird things happen when you listen to one song for days on end. I actually put the song on repeat as I was sleeping one night and woke up the next morning and the song seemed slower. At first, I thought it was the CD player messing up since it had been stuck on the same song all night. But I soon realized that the song seemed slower because I knew every beat and every change in the song. It seemed slower because I had memorized it to such an insane degree, that it slow motioned into my ears in normal speed. The song was still good, but the song was overplayed and figured-out.
This morning in church, the pastor was talking about Jonah and how he deliberately disobeyed God. Before he ends up in the belly of the fish, God asks him to go to a certain town and deliver his message, but Jonah almost flamboyantly goes in the opposite direction. Fast forward the story and Jonah is screwed, caught in the middle of a storm, thrown overboard, swallowed, and hanging out in the belly of the fish. He knew what he was doing the whole time, he was running from God.
I sat there in church this morning and realized that that is exactly where I am in life. I remember a day when it seemed like God talked to me all the time, like we would sit down by the fire and just talk about our future plans together. I remember acting upon those plans, trying to seek them out and to make them happen. While everything wasn’t exactly smooth sailing during those times, I always felt comfort in knowing that God was there. Fast forward this story and you see me running the opposite way, away from those plans, caught in the middle of a storm where I don’t feel God’s hope for me, dumped on the curb of real life, swallowed up in my own self and selfish desires, and thank God I live in Oklahoma or else I feel as I would be in the belly of some great fish in the sea.
My life right now is like the song, it’s slowed down so much that I know it all too well. It is a good song, but it is overplayed and has now become uninteresting. The beat and the melody has not changed in years, and the words sing a tired old song. I am stuck on repeat in the belly of a whale, awaiting to be vomited up into the next dead end job.
Lord, give me a new song.