Elvis Versus Elvis or The Distance of Jesus’ Pee

by MitchellRichards

When I worked at Bad Brad’s BBQ restaurant here in Yukon, we used to get our bread delivered by a world champion Elvis impersonator. No kidding. There are world championships for Elvis impersonators, and apparently, the champions deliver bread. One time when he was making his delivery, we were asking him all sorts of questions about life as an Elvis impersonator. The guy was super nice and eventually gave us some CDs of him singing Elvis songs and some of his own songs in the style of Elvis. Like I said, super great guy.

Down the street a few blocks from Bad Brad’s, sits a small diner that recently changed its name from “Sid’s” to “Fat Elvis’ Diner”. The reason being that an Elvis impersonator (different from the previously mentioned world champ) bought the restaurant a few years back. Occasionally, the owner of the restaurant will do Elvis concerts in the parking lot. I cannot make this stuff up. So it’s nice to know that in the middle of Oklahoma, there are, indeed, at least two Elvis impersonators.

The world champion, bread delivery Elvis told us once about the time he went into the restaurant while it was still called Sid’s, unbeknownst of the owner being an Elvis impersonator. You can always spot an impersonator even if they aren’t decked out in Elvis gear. The hair, the subtle yet apparent curl of the upper lip, but mainly the hair. No one rocks pompadours that fresh these days. So, bread delivery guy goes in and takes a seat at a table one afternoon in the slower part of the day. Bread Elvis is more of an Elvis in his prime, you know, young and handsome. Restaurant owner Elvis, more of an Elvis in his doughnut spiral days, was the lone employee at the time and took his order, walked over to the jukebox and played an Elvis song. He then sat at the end of the bar countertop, made eye contact with bread Elvis, and sand the entire song on the jukebox before he went to go make his food.

A one-on-one Elvis showdown at Sid’s.

Again, you can’t make this up. Bread Elvis could only stress how awkward it was for the both of them, almost like a peeing for distance contest between two grown males.

As Jesus followers, I am learning, we are to be imitators of Christ, as Christ was an imitator of God. You see, we are all in this together, but something tells me that we spend a lot of our time playing Jesus songs on the jukebox and staring down our fellow Jesus people. We get out our measuring sticks and try to prove one more holy than the other.

You know why it’s hard to be a Christian? Not because we lack faith in an existence of God and Jesus, but rather because we lack the faith in the other Christians around us. The last thing I want is to confess my crap to my fellow Christians, mostly because I don’t know how they will react. As Christians, we are really, really, really good at hiding our sins from one another. We hide because we fear judgement, and unfortunately our fears are rational.

I imagine a lot of times we are the ones in the diner, putting on the song, combing our pomps, and curling our lips if you know what I’m saying. The thing about hiding our sins from one another is that we tend to forget the fact that we don’t have it all together. We also forget the fact that the other person sitting across from us doesn’t have it together either. The only person we should be comparing ourselves to is Christ, and we will ALL come up short of that. Every time.

But we live in this messed up place where we feel the need to hide form one another, to not confess, to just pretend that we have it all together, that we are the only world champion in the room.

That’s what the Pharisees were all about in Jesus’ day, and He had a lot to say about the way they carried themselves. He told them that they were missing the point.

As Christians, we shoot ourselves in the foot on a daily basis because we do not allow each other community and confession by acting holy and perfect. We deny our brothers freedom because we are too busy acting like we are perfect.

Cut it out. I need help. You need help. Don’t act like you’ve got it all together, because WE don’t. We all miss the mark, Jesus pees farther than us all so put it back in your pants.

Redemption is found exclusively through Christ, and we all know to confess our crap to Him, but freedom and community is found in confession to one another. Like Adam and Eve in the garden, we should all be naked, fully exposed to one another. Sin piles on layers and layers of clothing so we can keep hiding, but my friend, we must strip down. The summer is upon us, and even if you’re a hipster, there is no need for that scarf.

You and I, we are equals. We are both just a small part of a bigger body, the body of Christ. We cannot judge one another for where we fall short, rather, we have to embrace one another for where we fall short. There are no lone rangers in the Kingdom, we all need each other. The burden of sin we carry is dead weight, it’s tough to carry. Let God carry the load, His ways are lighter. Do not bog one anther down with unnecessary dead weight, our clothes and trappings are weight enough for us.